Sunday 24 March 2013

Time, as I know it, Has Ceased to Exist

I don't know if it's like this for all pregnant women? but time seems to go verrrrryyy slowly.

I found out I was pregnant, dear god, only 3 weeks ago today, and it feels like it's been months! I can't believe it's only been three weeks!!!

The countdown to getting out of the danger zone is passing so slowly.

A few new things:
  • I had spotting on Wednesday which was 7 weeks and 2 days. Scared me so much all the blood drained from my body, and I became cold! It's crazy the affect it had on me. It was pink, not good, but it only lasted half a day, and 5 days later, has yet to return.
  • I met with my Naturopath, who gave me some more supplements to take along with my prenatal. She wants me to go in for an allergy test in 3 weeks! which is $280.00!!!! fml
  • I have been working out still, but taking it easy, my trainers at my gym have been AMAZING! and really understanding and accommodating. Love my gym!
  • I am too scared to weigh myself, but I know I have put on about 10 lbs *gulp* I'm overweight so I'm not supposed to put on more than 25 my entire pregnancy! (good luck!) I have belly overhang, my arms are getting un-toned already and I can't fit in my favorite blazer :(  I decided to TRY and start eating better, though I had McDonalds for Breakfast (damn girl) not going to help
  • I have a mid-wife appointment on Tuesday. I suspect this is when shitt gets real? It's my first baby-type appointment, so I'm really looking forward to it! I hope a mid-wife is what I think it is ? I really have no idea, I just don't want them to deter me from having my epidural! haha
I guess I'll write more after my appointment, and hopefully will know more! :)

Tuesday 19 March 2013

Mid-First Trimester

Well, some sites say I'm six weeks, others seven. Regardless I'm officially over half way through the danger zone of the first trimester. With each day that passes, the likelihood of me losing our baby lessens.

I did have a few scary moments over the past two weeks. 1 I had a small bit of blood, so minor, and I totally wrote myself off, deleted all my apps, just done. Yet I was still there, then I had a day of extreme lower back pain and of course, half wrote myself off. But I'm still here and feeling good about it all.

Work has been so busy that most days I forget I'm pregnant during the day. Then I come home and surf the forums and read my "What to expect when you're expecting" book.

A few things I notice though.

1) I don't care what I eat, I know that's TERRIBLE to 'give up', I hope it's not like this the entire time, I'm only supposed to gain 25 lbs haha
2) I all the sudden LOVE yogurt! after a distain that has lasted 10 years
3) My baby hates greasy food! everytime I eat some, I feel sick for a few hours

I have been able to tell my three closest friends, which is fun. But I am starting to feel bad for my parents so we are going to surprise and tell them!

We are painting the baby room this week, and I am buying my friends furniture off her from her baby and we're setting up the baby room then I'll have my parents over and we'll show them our new décor.. haha i'm sure they'll be shocked. 

Outie for now

Monday 11 March 2013

Week of Bliss? Fear? Uncertainty?

Well It's been 8 days since I found out I was pregnant, I've gone through cramps, blood tests, but no bleeding. I feel crampy and crabby and really fat but those are my only symptoms to day.

Tomorrow I hit 6 weeks, halfway through the danger zone, and the past 8 days have felt like a lifetime, I can't imagine what my next 6 weeks will be like!

I have an interview with the mid-wives at the end of the month, my doctor will be on maternity leave herself when I birth, so she suggested a mid-wife. As long as I can still get the drugs, I'm ok with whoever wants to delivery my baby.

I have to stay off the forums though! they are turning me nutty, thebump.com, whattoexpect.com, cafemom.com, babycentre.com - the only things I end up reading about are miscarriages, scares, low HGC numbers ... just sad stories that run my mind crazy with fear and doubt. I have to stop reading them, realistically only 15% of pregnancies end up in MC's, hey I'm at 100% but who's counting.

On another worrisome note. I'm supposed to keep my heart rate below 140 at the gym, and today I pushed it to 178, I'm so upset with myself, and my trainer yelled at me. I'm just too damn competitive. I hope I don't lose my baby over this ...

Check in another day yo!

Saturday 9 March 2013

Here we go again

Well it's been 1 year since my devastating loss of my last baby. Though I was only three weeks, it was very hard.

Here we are, March 9, 2013. Since my last loss, I have joined a gym, lost 17 lbs, got myself healthy, have been seeing a naturopath regularly and getting my body 'baby ready'. I've detoxed, cleansed, popped by body full of nutrients, and we were set to start trying again in April, when BAM. got a positive Pregnancy test on Sunday March 3rd!!!!

I went to the doctors the next day, and my immediate reaction was sadness, and overwhelming fear that I was going to lose this baby too! :( she sent me to the hospital for blood tests to give me peace of mind that I was pregnant and going strong, my numbers on Tuesday were 1345 and Thursday was 2598!!!! so I am well pregnant and progressing OK, I'm 5 Weeks and 4 Days today, so already further along than before, but every cramp and pain in my tummy sends me in total fear!

I have a better feeling this time though, so here's to a sticky bean!!!!

Monday 27 February 2012

Dude, I'm pregnant

I really never ever anticipated it would happen this fast, 1 cycle post - IUD and I'm pregnant.

It all started last week, when I started feeling sick at night, and my boobs hurt so bad I couldn't even ly on my stomach!

So on Saturday I took two First Response tests and got mixed results, went to the doc said negative ... then today I took a clear blue test and BAM! Preggo 1-2 weeks :)

All very exciting, i don't really know if I can sum up how I feel right now, Im excited. And a bit worried, I really don't want to lose it, i lost my first baby at 4 months, and it was heartbreaking

But for now I shall rejoice!!!! it seems surreal, hubby won't celebrate until we get blood tests ...


Tuesday 10 January 2012

The Psychics Message

She replied, asking I don't share the fact that the delay was so great with anyone .. I've deleted a few things that are too personal to share, but here we go ... the bold is her response. Let me know what you think.

CHILDREN-

2 children came to me in your reading.Of course I hope you are blessed with as many as you desire, but only 2 are showing in the reading. 

When I spoke with your baby to come he said hes a precious boy. That you will FIND OUT WITH A POSITIVE TEST IN MARCH OR APRIL OF 2012 OR CONCEIVE MARCH OR APRIL OF 2012 OR GIVE BIRTH/EXPECTED DUE DATE OF MARCH OR APRIL OF 2013. 


When I spoke with your next baby to come he said that he a precious boy. That you will FIND OUT WITH A POSITIVE TEST OCT OF 2015 OR CONCEIVE OCT OF 2015 OR GIVE BIRTH/EXPECTED DUE DATE OF OCT OF 2016.
I confirmed the above with your babies 3 times for accuracy. 


When I spoke with your 1st son to come he said his name/s  will be connected with these name/s somehow. SHANE AND OR MATTHEW. This could be his name/s, someone you know, someone you will meet, someone that has passed, someone  around the labor and or pregnancy, OR a combination of these. If this doesn't make sense now it will LATER.

When I spoke with your 2nd son to come he said his name/s  will be connected with these name/s somehow.ZION AND OR ASHER AND OR REED. This could be his name/s, someone you know, someone you will meet, someone that has passed, someone  around the labor and or pregnancy, OR a combination of these. If this doesn't make sense now it will LATER.

When I spoke with your 1st son to come the 1st thing I heard him say is that he SAYS I LOVE YOU ONLY WHEN HE MEANS IT AND DOESN'T FEEL THE NEED TO KEEP REPEATING IT. He said that as hes getting ready to come within your womb and peering down into you and your partners relationship he says DAD DOES THIS AS WELL and he GETS THIS TRAIT FROM DAD TOO. HE SAID THAT DAD ALWAYS MEAN WHAT HE SAYS AND FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH WHAT HE SAYS SO HE WILL BE THE SAME. I also heard your son to come say that LIKE DAD HE WILL BE VERY CARING AND CONSIDERATE, JUST BECAUSE HE MIGHT NOT REPEAT WHAT HES FEELING, DOESN'T MEAN THAT HE TAKES OTHERS FOR GRANTED AND YOUR 1st son will be the same way too where HE WOULD RATHER SHOW OTHERS THROUGH ACTIONS THAT THEY ARE LOVED AND WHAT THEY MEAN TO THEM. He would rather for example show a woman she is loved and say That he LOVES her throw putting a blanket over her when shes cold, opening doors for her. Things of that nature. Also when I connected with your 1st son he also said that HE REALLY LOVES LOVE HE LOVES THE IDEA OF LOVE, BEING IN LOVE, SEEING OTHERS IN LOVE and from that he would LOVE A NURSERY BASED AROUND THAT. He will be all boy of course, but he wants things that represent love in a way that is still masculine.Such as his name on a plaque with a heart around it but in blue and things of that nature like a blanket with the same concept. HE SAID THOUGH FOR SURE HE WANTS EVERYTHING OF HIS PERSONALIZED and EVEN WHEN HE GETS OLDER HE WILL WANT PRESENTS ALL WITH HIS NAME, INITIALS ON IT ALL THE TIME. BOOKS, JOURNALS, LEATHER PORTFOLIO, DRINKING GLASSES YOU NAME IT. HE WILL BE THE KING OF PERSONALIZATION HE SAYS AND HE WILL THINK ITS SO NEAT THAT EVERY ONES GIFTS HE GIVES TOO WILL HAVE TO HAVE THEIR PERSONALIZATION ON IT AS WELL. 

When I spoke with your 2nd son to come he said that he will TEST OTHERS ALL THE TIME TO SEE IF THEY ARE REALLY HIS FRIENDS. I don't see this in a way where hes doing anything that is of damage to his friends, but I AM HEARING HIM SAY HE WILL GIVE LITTLE BITS AND PIECES OF HIMSELF BEFORE REVEALING HIS WHOLE SELF AND AS HE TESTS OTHERS MORE TO SEE OF THEIR LOYALTY TO HIM THEN HE WILL OPEN UP MORE AND MORE. I also heard that in his past life, not to sound sad, but he said he had many people take advantage of him, back stab him and from that this is part of why he will be this way now. I also heard him say that he wants in his nursery THINGS THAT REPRESENT BRUSHING HIS TEETH, BEING A DENTIST. THINGS OF THAT NATURE. I know that may seem weird, but he will LOVE ANYTHING IN HIS NURSERY THAT HAS A BIG SMILE ATTACHED TO IT and I see him being a Dentist in the future as well. Something too as I was reading on him my eyes GOT VERY DRY AND VERY BURNING. Hes going to complain about dry eyes and burning all the time. I don't see anything wrong with him, but he said that he will be using eye drops all the time. Like his eyes are LACKING MOISTURE AND HE WILL NEED AN ACTUAL PRESCRIPTION FOR THIS. 

QUESTIONS-


[deleted]

Questions: 

1) What is my Spirit Guides name (any messages?) - (When I spoke with your spirit guide I heard the name LARISSA AND OR MARISSA OR LILLIAN OR DUSTY for her name. She says that DON'T WORRY ABOUT GETTING PREGNANT RIGHT. She says she KNOWS BABY MAKING IS A SERIOUS THING AND BABIES ARE BLESSING, BUT SHE SAID THAT SHE FEELS IN HER HEART THAT YOU TRYING TO GET BABY MAKING AS RIGHT AS POSSIBLE IS ACTUALLY PREVENTING YOUR CHILD FROM COMING ABOUT. SHE IS NOT TRYING TO BLAME YOU AND NEITHER IS YOUR SON. BUT SHE SAYS SHE KNOWS HOW DOWN PAT YOU ARE WANTING THINGS AND ITS FINE TO TOTALLY LET LOOSE WITH IT IF YOU DO SHE SAYS YOU WILL GET PREGNANT FROM A CYCLE WHERE YOU JUST LETTING EVERYTHING TOTALLY GO AND DON'T FOCUS ON DOING IT "JUST PERFECT". So the cycle you get pregnant I am seeing NO OPKS, NO CHARTS, NO DOCTORS, NO NOTHING but throwing caution to the wind)

[Deleted]

3) My big brother is a recovering heroin addict, will he continue on the right path and be happy in life ? (When I spoke with him I do see him continuing recovery. He told me that MOSTLY WHAT HE DID NOT AN EXCUSE, BUT MOSTLY WHAT HE DID WAS BECAUSE HE CAME ACROSS MORE FLASHY, MORE IMPORTANT TO OTHERS, MORE HIGH STATUS. THAT IS WHY HE HAD THE ADDICTION HE FELT THAT DOING THAT MADE HIM POPULAR AND DREW MORE ATTENTION TO HIM IN A GOOD WAY AND HE LOVED THE FEELING OF THAT. HE SAID THAT WILL BE THE TOUGHEST PART OF RECOVERY LEARNING THAT HE CAN STILL GET ATTENTION, STILL BE CONSIDERED SOMETHING FLASHY, STILL WOW AND DAZZLE OTHERS WITHOUT THE DRUG, BUT HE WILL DO IT. I AM SEEING THE MOST RECOVERY COME FOR HIM IN JULY OF 2012 where hes the most stable and he will continue being stable. He said that he WANTS NOT TO FEEL LIKE A HELTER SKELTER ANYMORE AND I SENSE HIM EVEN CALLING HIMSELF THIS BEFORE. HE WANTS HIMSELF AND HIS FAMILY BACK IN BALANCE AGAIN)


4) What is my husband and I's past life together? (I am seeing your past life together as best friends you being female and he male still and you where friends FOR A VERY LONG TIME than become lovers. I was told that in your past life together that you helped him OUT OF A BLACK DEPRESSION. You showed him that it was FINE BEING DEPRESSED WHERE OTHERS DIDN'T GIVE HIM PERMISSION TO DO SO BEFORE, BUT THAT AT THE SAME TIME TO SHAKE IT OFF AND GO TO THE NEXT THING. I even see him in his past life GOING AWAY FOR VERY LONG TIMES, JUST HOLING HIMSELF UP AND YOU WHERE THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD GET HIM OUT AND DOING THINGS AGAIN. I show you two coming into this life together for the same reasons as well)

5) My Grandma (M) - does she have anything to say to me or my dad (I can pass along messages to him) - he has been dealing a lot with her past lately, and I think of her often.(She is around all the time. She loves you both so much. She said that IN HER HEART SHE FELT SHE WAS NOT PATIENT ENOUGH WITH YOUR DAD. THAT SHE IS VERY SORRY ABOUT THAT. AGAIN THIS IS HER FEELING AND SHE WANTS HIM TO KNOW THAT SHE IS AROUND TO BE PATIENT FOR HIM NOW. SHE ALSO SAID THAT YOUR DAD NEEDS TO LET GO OF THE IDEA THAT HES NOT DOING THINGS WITH REMEMBERING HER RIGHT. LIKES HE KEEPS TRYING OVER AND OVER AND FEELS HE IS NOT GOING ON ABOUT REMEMBERING HER RIGHT, AND GRIEVING RIGHT, SHE SAYS HOW HE IS DOING IT IS JUST FINE AND NO NEED TO BEAT HIMSELF UP OVER IT. ALSO FOR SOME REASON I HEARD WATER, STEEL, AND FIRE FROM HIS MOTHER. She SAID HE WILL KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS AS WELL, IF NOT NOW BY JUNE OF 2012. I KEEP SEEING A MIXING OF ALL 3 THOUGH. )

6) There was a man standing at the end of my bed about 18 months ago, holding a sign, what did the sign say? (I did not recognize the man)(When I spoke with this man I show him being your 1st son representing an adult form. He said that he brought the sign to show you that he is around the corner and I heard him showing you this sign and the sign saying something in it in a different language that he said is SPOKEN WITHIN FAMILY somewhere and that the sign says somethng to the extent of it being FINE ABOUT JUMPING SHIP, BEING A FOOL, FOR MOM TO TAKE RISKS WITH GETTING PREGNANT. He said be LOCO GET LOCO WITH BABY MAKING LOL)

7) If i get pregnant soon, will work understand and will i still have a job to go back to after my maternity leave? (YES. I was told there is a man who will make SURE THAT YOUR JOB IS STILL THERE. This man feels mixed. HIS SKIN TONE IS MIXED I HEARD AND I AM SEEING HIM HAVING A NONCHALANT ATTITUDE ABOUT YOU BEING PREGNANT. LIKE YES GREAT NEWS, BUT NO BIG DEAL ABOUT IT AFFECTING WORK. LOL IN FACT SEEMS HE SPENDS MUCH TIME RELAXING AT WORK, EVEN SLEEPING AT WORK I HEARD. I show this man if you don't know who he is now will by APRIL 2012. I also heard the name RAY OR REED around him)